hell yes lets make some ravioli
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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