he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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