I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
