Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
