Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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