Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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