I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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