my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
