Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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