she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
