You're completely useless in the revolution.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
