I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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