you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
