absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
