I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
