I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
