i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I faked an abortion last night.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
