It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
