I think my vagina is haunted
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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