I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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