Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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