And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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