and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
