first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
