they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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