i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
