Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
