don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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