If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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