Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
