And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
