I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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