I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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