Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
