so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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