Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
