I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
