its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
