Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
