Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize