He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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