you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
