Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
