I think im going to throw up on grandma
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
