Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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