I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
