Someone shit on the floor
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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