i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
