We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize