Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
