8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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