i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
