i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
