I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
