I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
