OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize