It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
