There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
