I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
